Chapter 64 Episode 64

“Please." He rolls his eyes. “I know you better than you think, Jessa. Your mind is working in overdrive right now." I take a deep breath. “I’m… scared.” “No, not about that. I mean, yes, I’m nervous about motherhood, but it’s something I’ve always wanted.” “Okay. So then what is it?” “What does this mean for us?” I ask again. He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “I told you.” “You said we are going to raise this child together,” I clarify. “But will we be raising the baby from different rooms?” God, this is the cringiest conversation I’ve ever had in my life. I need to salvage the situation. “What I mean is—I guess what I want to know is… do I get a separate annex on your property? Or, like…” His eyes go wide for a moment. Then his face splits into a smile. He takes my hand and brings it up to his lips. He kisses me gently and butterflies erupt in my stomach. “I want you on my property. I want you in my bed, kotyonok. I don’t want you anywhere that I can’t reach out and touch you every f*****g moment of the day,” he says softly. “Does that clear things up for you?” Is it possible to melt from the sheer physical presence of another human being? With Anton, it feels more than possible—it feels inevitable. “It’ll suffice,” I murmur with a blush. “Thank you.” “I don’t know why I said that," I laugh. I feel this weird bursting feeling in my chest. I think it’s happiness, but I’ve never experienced it quite like this before. Nothing so whole or complete or excited as this. And I don’t want to let it go. For the first time, I reach for him without any shred of self-consciousness. Anton leans in and we kiss again, long and slow and gentle. His hand traces the line of my back and I shiver against him. My hands clutch at the front of his shirt and even through my trembling, I manage to undo two buttons. Of course, all that does is make me think about everything else that’s underneath his clothes. I can feel the throb of my heartbeat in my chest and lower, flooding my entire body. My c**t is pounding so hard that I wonder if Anton can feel it, too. Just as his hand wraps around to my waist and I think he’s going to cup my breasts, he finishes the kiss and pulls back. I sway, unmoored and breathless. “What just happened?” "There’s nothing I want more right now,” he clarifies. His hand grips my waist possessively, his eyes raking over me in obvious need. “But you just fainted, and I don’t want to be the cause of another episode.” I roll my eyes. “You certainly have a high opinion of yourself.” He shrugs and leans back a little, revealing the hard ridges of his chest. I actually feel a little lightheaded looking at him. “Which is justified, in your case,” I add. He laughs and leans in to kiss me one more time. “Get some rest. We can continue this when you’re up to it.” I am disappointed, but I like the way he’s taking care of me. And I especially like the way he confirms that we’ll pick this up later. The future—something I never thought I’d look forward to again. My hand settles over my belly, and I look up to see that Anton is watching me. 'I still can’t quite believe it,” I admit. Anton nods. “We’re having a baby.” “Get some sleep," he says softly. "I have to go down and deal with a few things. I just wanted to talk to you first.” “Okay. You’ll come up later?” He smiles. “You couldn’t keep me out of here if you tried.” He doesn’t kiss me again, but he brushes the side of my face with his hand before he goes. One is as good as the other. I watch him walk out of the room, and I feel a new sense of pride. But when he’s gone, nervous energy buzzes through my body, adrenaline thrumming through my veins. It makes me fidgety, desperate for an outlet. I realize that I haven’t checked my phone since I woke up. It takes me a moment to locate it on the bedside table beside me. The first thing I notice is a bunch of missed calls and text messages, mostly from Chris and Freya. The happy little bubble I've been living in for the past few minutes pops. When it was just Anton and me, everything seemed possible. Everything seemed manageable. But the moment I think past the two of us, I realize how complicated this will be. I need to talk to them both, but I'm too much of a coward, so I text instead of call. I just need more time to craft an explanation that they’ll be satisfied with. I need time to think of what I can say to convince them that I’m not just the latest victim of Stockholm Syndrome. ME: Hey! Just wanted to update you so you don’t have to worry, haha. Work is good. I’m gonna be super busy prepping for a big thing coming up, so don’t freak out if you don’t hear from me. Love you xo. I copy-paste the message to both Freya and Chris, then change my status to unavailable. I’ve just set my phone down when it buzzes again. It's a text, not a call, but I’m still nervous to pick it up. Will it be Chris asking me to stop pretending like everything’s okay? Will it be Freya telling me that some forms of control are subtle and entirely too convincing? But when I finally glance at the screen, the message isn't from either one of them. The number is unknown. And it isn't a message, but a video. Curiosity wins out. I click play. The video is grainy. Still, I’ve been around Anton enough now to recognize him when I see him. His size and physique are easy to spot. I should turn it off. I trust Anton. Or at least, I should. We’re having a baby and I’m happy for the first time in so long. But the video is already playing, and I can’t look away. Anton is in some sort of meeting. There are other blurry-faced men sitting around a rectangular table. Everything is relatively calm. And then someone bursts through the door. She’s a blonde blur as she rushes into the room. There’s no sound, but based on her body language and the way the room turns to her in alarm, I think she’s screaming. The men file out of the room, leaving behind Anton and… Marina. It has to be her. There’s no one else it could be. I flinch when she hits Anton, but I freeze when he roars back in her face. When he grabs her by the hair and drags her across the floor, I have to look away. When I finally look back at the video, Marina is laid out on the table and Anton is between her legs. It’s a position that could be misconstrued as intimate… if it weren’t for the fact that Anton’s hands are wrapped around her throat. He’s strangling her—and the look in his eyes says he intends to finish it. And then the video ends. “Oh God…” I gasp, feeling as though I’m the one who’s just escaped a strangling attempt. I can’t breathe. Air is wheezing in and out of my lungs. “Oh God…” Before I can process what I’ve just watched, my phone pings again. It’s a disappearing photo sent from the same unknown number that sent me the video. If I click on it, I’ll have ten seconds to see the photo before it disappears forever. I click on the picture and the image fills my screen. It’s clearer than the video was, but not by much. Again, a broad-shouldered man with dark hair is centered in the image. His back is to me, and he’s crouched over… “Oh God,” I gasp, nearly dropping the phone. His knee is covering her face, but blonde hair spills over onto the floor. I can see blood staining the carpet. Anton told me that Marina was found dead in a hotel room at the Grand Centrale. But wherever this photo was taken… it was most definitely not at the Grand Centrale. Which means he lied to me about so much more than I realized. And despite everything I’ve seen, everything Chris and Freya warned me about, I blindly believed him. Because… because I am falling in love with him. There’s no denying that anymore. There’s also no denying what I have to do next. The image disappears. I fumble with my phone as I pull up a number. I call him three times before he finally picks up. “Sorry, I was in a meeting,” he says, rushing through the words. “Are you okay?” “No,” I say, unable to hold back the sob. “Chris, can you come and pick me up?” I ask before he can say anything else. “This will be the last time I ever ask. I promise.” Thank you for reading Satin Sinner. Anton and Jessa’s story concludes in the second book of the Stepanov Bratva duet, Satin Princess. CLICK HERE TO GET IT NOW.