I want to get rid of the bag immediately, but Phoenix’s starting to fuss. If I don’t feed him soon, he’s going to start screaming his lungs out.
So I put the paper bag in a corner next to the bed and then I sit down and put him to my breast just before he starts wailing. He quiets down and suckles greedily.
I stroke his cheek and watch him for a long time, trying to think about my next move. The shelter is not what I expected. I sure as hell don’t want to stay here long term.
My only option is to find a job as fast as possible. With money coming in, I’d have options. A little more autonomy.
I let Phoenix feed for twenty minutes and then I burp him and switch him over to my second breast. I make sure to keep a blanket folded over my shoulder so that no one can see him nursing.
At some
