Alarmed by my recent decline in grades, I dedicated myself even more to my studies. Burying myself in the books was helping in multiple ways. Not only was I keeping to my learning track, I was able to distract myself from my plethora of fears.
They still existed inside of me, but when studying, I felt like I was combatting them. Yes, my grades were slipping, but here I was, doing something about it.
Yet even with as hard I was working, occasionally a lone, wayward worry would slip into my thoughts, making me lose my place in the texts.
When that happened, I grew frustrated. That frustration left me vulnerable to more intrusive thoughts and worries, until I was practically reliving Lamar’s attack, or rereading the forum on that vile website, or remembering how desperately Joseph wanted m
