2: TWO

R O S A L I E I started waking up everyday as early as five o'clock in the morning for the next two weeks, already showered and dressed in my workout gear, ready to start the gym. Casper had made me a new workout schedule, one that was even more intense than the last. It was a three hour workout that had to be completed before the rest of the pack was even awake. My body ached with every movement. My muscles screamed in protest, but I pushed through the pain. Pain was the weakness and fatness leaving my body. At least that's what Casper told me. The gym smelled of sweat, disgusting sweat. I hated it here. I hated the way my body felt, the way it betrayed me. But I had to do it. I had no other choice. I started with the treadmill, the incline turned up to the max. My legs burned, my lungs felt like they were on fire and sweat poured down my face, stinging my eyes. I wanted to stop. I wanted to get off and just lie on the floor and cry. But I didn't. I kept going, one foot in front of the other, until the timer went off. Next up was the weights. Casper wanted me to lift heavy, to build muscle to burn more fat. I hated lifting weights. It made me feel bulky and masculine, but Casper said it was necessary. So I lifted. The iron was cold against my skin, the weight of it digging into my palms. I gritted my teeth and pushed through the pain, my muscles shaking with every rep. I was on my last set when I felt it. A familiar heat spreading through my body. It was my wolf. She was stirring. This hadn't happened in a long while. Not since I’d met Casper. She was weak from the neglect, but she was there, and her presence was a little overwhelming. I could feel her emotions, her pain, her anger. She was angry at me for letting this happen. For starving her. For weakening us both. ‘Rosalie,’ she whimpered faintly. ‘We are dying.’ I ignored her, pushing through the last rep. I couldn't listen to her. Not now. There was too much at stake for me to be distracted by my wolf. Casper had gotten my wedding dress in a size 10, when I usually wore a 18-20. Everytime I saw the dress, a sickening feeling would bubble up in my chest. I wanted to be that girl, the one he saw in a size 10. The one that deserved him. After my workout, I walked back home and went to the kitchen to make my breakfast. Casper had a strict meal plan for me, and I was not allowed to deviate from it. Breakfast was a cup of black coffee and a single hard boiled egg. It was barely enough to sustain a bird, let alone a werewolf. But I ate it anyway, forcing the dry egg down my throat. The coffee was bitter, and it churned in my empty stomach. I felt dizzy, my vision blurring for a second. I knew I needed to eat more, but I couldn't. I had to be strong. I had to be perfect. ‘Rosalie, please,’ my wolf begged. ‘We are hungry.’ "I'm sorry," I whispered, my heart breaking. "I'm so sorry. I can’t." It was a lonely and a sad life that I was living, but it was the only one I had. Casper was the only man who has ever seen me , the real me. The fat and ugly me. And still, he chose me. He could have any girl he wanted, and he chose me. And if starving myself was what it took to keep him, then I would do it. I would do anything for him. I had to be worthy of his love. I sat at the kitchen table, my stomach growling in protest. I tried to ignore it, but the hunger was gnawing at my stomach. I closed my eyes and tried to think of something else, anything else. But all I could think about was food. I haven’t had a full meal in months. And yet, the scale only kept going up. Before him, I wasn't ashamed to have curves. I was confident and happy. I loved my body, and I loved my shape. But Casper had changed all that. He had made me see myself through his eyes. And what I saw was a fat, ugly and disgusting pig who was not worthy of love. It was a painful realization, but it was the truth. And the truth hurt. I was broken out of my thoughts by my phone ringing. It was Freya. I hesitated for a moment before answering it. "Hello?" "Happy birthday, my girl!" She squealed, her voice full of excitement. "What?" I said, my brain foggy from the lack of food. "It's my birthday?" I quickly checked the calendar on my phone. Oh. It was my twenty fifth birthday. "Don’t tell me you forgot!" She gasped, sounding genuinely shocked. "It must have slipped my mind." I said. "I've been so busy." "Busy making yourself sick?" she said, her tone changing. "I haven't heard from you in a week. I was starting to get worried." "I'm fine," I lied. "I've just been... focused." "Focused on what? Killing yourself?" She sighed, "I'm sorry. That was harsh. But I am worried about you, Rosie." "There's no need to be," I said, trying to sound convincing. "I'm doing great. In fact, I was just about to go for a run." "A run? You just worked out for three hours! Rosie, this is crazy. You need to eat. You need to rest." "I can't," I said, my voice cracking. "I have to." "Because of Casper?" She said, her voice laced with disdain. "When are you going to see that he's the problem, not the solution?" "He's not the problem," I said, a little too quickly. "He's helping me. He's helping me become the best version of myself." "The best version of yourself is not a size 2, Rosie! The best version of yourself is happy and healthy. And you are neither of those things." I wanted to believe her. I really did. But the image of my wedding dress was burned into my mind. I had to fit into it. I had to make a beautiful bride. "I have to go, Freya," I said, my voice dismissive. "I'll call you later." "Rosie, wait—" I hung up before she could say anything else. I couldn't listen to her. She didn't understand. She didn't know what it was like to be me. To be a disappointment. I put on my running shoes and went out the door. The cold air hit my face, and I started to run. I ran until my lungs burned, and my legs gave out. I collapsed on the ground, my body shaking. I was a failure. I couldn't even run for more than a mile. I looked up at the sky. The Moon Goddess, the one who had supposedly created me, the one who had supposedly chosen Casper for me. Why would she do this to me? Why would she curse me with this body?