Gnawing of Guilt

Nadia POV: The morning light filters through my blinds, casting stripes across the floor of my bedroom. As I move downstairs, I settle at the kitchen table, cradling a warm mug of coffee in my hands. My mind drifts back to the events of last night, the confrontation with Benjamin from two days ago still casting a shadow over my ability to trust those around me. Anger simmers just beneath the surface whenever my father’s name crosses my mind, sharp and painful memories surfacing uninvited. Staring into my coffee, Zak's sculpted face broke through my turbulent thoughts. I recall the genuine warmth in his smile, his evident concern as he and Leo learned about my ex, David. I could still feel the weight of his gaze, the way it had sent a shiver down my spine. And yet, I had left him without a word, slipping away into the dark night and my own chaos. Guilt gnaws at me; I knew he cared, but my stubbornness refused to let me lower my barriers. Seeing Tanya arrive had ignited an anger I had no right to feel, her voice grating, so I had slipped away unnoticed, and I was annoyed with myself for it. The sharp ring of my phone pulls me from my thoughts. Seeing Cleo’s name flashing on the screen, I quickly accept the call, a grin breaking across my face. “Hey, girl! You ready to spill?” she exclaims, her laughter infectious. “Hello to you too!” I laugh in response. “Not much to spill, is there?” I asked innocently, though I can feel the weight of last night pressing on my chest. “Don’t even try it,” she warns, her curiosity palpable. Glancing at the clock, I see it is mid-morning. “Why don’t we meet at Flo’s Diner in an hour? Is their breakfast still as good as it used to be?” “Better,” she assures me. “That sounds great. I can’t wait to see you, Dia,” she finishes, her tone softening as she if she can sense my inner turmoil. Wrapping up the call, I rush to shower and blow-dry my flaming locks. I apply a layer of makeup, perfecting my eyeliner and painting my lips a fierce red that matches my spirit. I need that extra confidence boost to face the day ahead. Stepping outside, I groan at the sight of my empty driveway, reminding me that I needed to collect my truck from the compound. Grabbing my sunglasses as the morning sun warms my skin, I set off on the half-mile walk to the diner, thankful it was nearby. Pushing the diner door open, the eyes of a few townsfolk turn toward me, taking in the arrival of the new person in town. “Ah, she’s arrived!” I hear Cleo’s excited voice shout before a bush of brown hair races towards me and envelopes me in a firm hug. “Long time, sister,” she whispers emotionally in my ear. Stepping back, her blue eyes sweep me from head to toe before she lets out a low whistle. “Damn, girl, the years have done you good.” Chuckling at her smirk, I glance around to see everyone still watching us intently. Meeting my gaze, their eyes quickly shift back to their tables as quiet chatter began to swirl around us. “Come on, over here,” Cleo motions toward a table nestled in the corner before striding over, with me trailing close behind. “I ordered your usual,” she says quietly, and I throw her an appreciative smile as I settle into the comfy red booth in front of me. A few moments later, Cleo’s eyes wide in shock after I have filled her in on how I had exposed Vince and the fact that I had no inclination to reconnect with my father. “He really did all that?” Cleo asks in horror, referencing the shocking information I had just shared about Benjamin's betrayals. I nod solemnly. “And Vince...” “That man is going to get what he deserves,” I reply, my tone dark and resolute. “Nadia, what are you going to do?” she asks, concern etched across her features. “Nothing you need to worry about,” I reply vaguely, feeling her gaze linger on me. “You’re different now,” she states, no judgment in her voice—only sadness. Shrugging, I reach for my coffee, left by a young waitress. “I was always going to be,” I mutter quietly. “Fiery, bold and unbreakable? Oh, I know,” she chuckles. Suddenly, the ringing of the bell signals someone else entering the diner. Cleo’s eyes widen slightly before tracking a movement toward the bar, then I hear the sexy, deep rumble of a familiar voice resonate from the till area. “That is one hunk of a man,” Cleo drools, making me giggle at her schoolgirl-like reaction. Snapping her eyes to me in slight panic, she whispers, “He’s coming this way, did he hear me?!” as my heart skips a beat. I internally scold myself for the flutter of nerves, but I refuse to let it show. “Good morning, Cleo, Flames,” Zak greets, his presence commanding as he stands to my right. “M... morning,” Cleo mumbles embarrassedly, her cheeks flushing red, making me smile. I raise my eyes to meet his bright blue ones, already trained on me. “Morning, Zak,” I replied, my voice clear and confident as I offered him a small smile, a hint of guilt clawing at me once more. “You know each other?” Cleo asks in shock before shaking her head. “Of course you do—club business,” she said, smacking her face in realization. “Could say that,” I smirk, my mind flashing back to our initial meeting. “You left your keys,” Zak says simply, reaching into his back pocket and dropping them on the table in front of me, his expression unreadable. “Nadia,” Cleo gasps, eyes wide with assumption. “It wasn’t like that,” I tell her sharply, slight irritation creeping into my voice. “No, it wasn’t,” Zak rumbles, his reply short. “Have a good day, ladies,” he says with a small smile before turning to leave. “Zak,” Cleo says softly, making him pause. “How is your mom doing?” He freezes slightly before offering a strained yet polite smile to Cleo. “Treatment isn’t going as we hoped, but she’s still here.” His words shock me as I realise how selfless he had been in his concern for me, despite his own troubles. “She’s ill?” I ask softly, his pained eyes meeting mine once more. “Yes,” he says simply. “Stay safe, Flames, and I’d go see Leo. You had him worried last night.” “And not you?” I ask, trying to lighten the mood. Simply quirking his lip, he nods at us before walking away, his broad shoulders tense as if he carried the weight of the world on his back. I watch him reach his bike, fastening his helmet before swinging a muscular leg over the seat and settling in. Bringing his bike to life with a roar, he smoothly turns out of the parking lot and peels off down the street. “That was slightly tense,” Cleo observes, watching me closely for a reaction. “He was going to drive me home last night,” I admit. “I may have disappeared when that Tanya girl showed up.” Pulling a disgusted face, she pretends to gag at the name. “My reaction says it all,” she giggles with a roll of her eyes. “I won’t ask, but I assume that’s why my dad instructed me, very clearly, that I needed to accompany you back to your truck.” “Please,” I says softly, appreciation clear in my voice. “Come on then,” she chuckles, standing swiftly from our booth. “Let’s get you back to your truck. I think my dad is after you,” she laughs, holding her buzzing phone in her hand. Riding back to the compound, I enjoy catching up on the less stressful parts of our lives, hearing about Cleo’s recent boy troubles and her hopes for her new bakery’s success. For a few much-needed minutes, I am distracted from my busy mind. Pulling in, I note the eyes of club members trained on me once more. Cleo laughs, “I have a feeling you command attention wherever you go.” I roll my eyes but can’t suppress a smile. “Yeah, well, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be.” As we park, I feel the weight of their gazes. It was both unnerving and invigorating. I take a deep breath, trying to steady myself. As Cleo and I step out of the car, I spot Zak’s bike parked nearby, the sunlight glinting off its sleek curves but see no sign of him. An idea sparks in my mind. Ignoring the others watchful eyes I walk over, quickly scribbling my number on a piece of paper along with a brief apology for my abrupt departure the night before. Tucking it into the seat, I step back, a shiver of anxiety running through me. “Ready, dads inside?” Cleo calls, and I turn to join her, feeling a mix of excitement and anxiety brewing within me. As we walked inside, I could feel the eyes of the club members following us, their whispers and laughter a backdrop to my thoughts. I was stepping into a world that was both thrilling and terrifying, but for the first time in a long while, I felt ready to face it head-on. No more running, no more hiding. I was ready to reclaim my life—and maybe even my heart. With every step I took, I felt the fire within me igniting. I would not let my past define me. I was Nadia, fierce and unyielding, and I would carve my own path, Benjamin could quite simply, go f**k himself.