#9 - First Words

Jade He walked away. Left. Without a care in the world. Without so much as a glance. At them. The lump in my chest grew heavier, forcing me to draw in a breath. It got stuck somewhere, leaving me feeling like I might die the next second. I'd wanted to die last night with each step he took. So easily. Tears fell. Not for myself, but for my beautiful babies. He didn't want them. A sob escaped my mouth, jolting Elaine where she'd dozed off on the couch. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," I apologised, wiping furiously at the tears. "Hey," she was beside me in a flash. "Are you okay?" "Define okay?" I asked, letting out a teary laugh. "Yeah, right, I'm sorry," Elaine said, pulling me into a hug. "I'm so sorry this is happening to you." "Aiden spoke his first word last night." "Oh my God," Elaine pulled back, eyes widening. "Why didn't you say anything?" she asked softly. "Uh... let's see, between the shock of seeing Asher and hearing my son say dada the first time he sees his father while said father accused me of stooping so low as to cheat on my best friend with her husband, there wasn't exactly time." "Wait, those were his first words?" "Yep, he shows up and finally my son decides it's the perfect moment to speak." For a split second, I had thought it was a sign. That maybe— I shook my head. It was pointless to hope. "Do you know how long I've tried to get Aiden to say mama? And Asher's only in his life for two seconds and he gets that without even asking," I swallowed hard at the lump in my chest. "And then he just... left." "Aww, Babe," Elaine pulled me back in, holding tight. I didn't know what I would have done without her. "Well... I did kind of lead him here," she said, making me realise I'd said that out loud. "I'm not mad at you or Grayson," I sighed, sinking into her arms. "It was always just a matter of time, right?" I'd known since the day I found out I was pregnant. "He called you his wife," Elaine said quietly. I stilled. "I know he was drunk and all, but he sounded so sure, Jade." I wanted to know that too. "Is that his?" she asked, her gaze falling on my hand. Crap. Had Asher seen it too? The intruding thought hit me, making my heart race. I didn't want him seeing the pathetic version of me that had kept his ring on her finger after he'd already rejected me. "Was his wife," I said, pushing to my feet. "Wait, what?" Elaine shot to her feet, wincing in the process. "Are you okay?" "I'm fine," she waved me away. "What I want to know is when—how—" "It doesn't matter—" "It matters to me," she whispered. "My best friend got married without me." I wanted to kick myself. "It was nothing. I promise," I said, taking her hand. She believed none of it. I had to give her something. "It was fake," I confessed, trying to sound casual, but the bitterness in my mouth, the stab in my chest— "I was just doing him a favour," I finished, looking away. Elaine drew my face back to her, tears in her eyes. "But it wasn't so fake to you, was it?" I gaped at her. Of course she'd see right through me. "I... thought there was something there," I said, blinking back the tears. "He divorced me a couple of hours later." Elaine gasped. I let out a self deprecating laugh. "It was always going to be the outcome." Asher's words echoed. "This was always going to be the outcome." I sighed. "I'd just been too stupid to see it." "You loved him, it isn't the same thing." "Same difference," I muttered, placing my face in my palms. "God, I thought I was smarter than that." "The heart wants what it wants," my best friend said, lifting my face to her. "It's our curse, I guess." "It was almost two years ago," I snorted at what she was insinuating when she touched my ring. "It's... beautiful," she said softly before lifting it to her face. "And real." "It is real alright," I scoffed. "But nothing it represented ever was." "Did you choose it?" "What?" "The ring. Did you choose it?" "I—" I paused, thinking of the first time I laid my eyes on it. Asher had stood back, let me explore. His gaze stayed on me, and each time I glanced at him, he had this look. It did funny things to me. My hand flew to my chest, the familiar ache tightening in my chest. "It was beautiful, but so were countless others." Elaine studied me. "Not something you pick for something fake then." "That doesn't mean anything," I snapped too quickly. There was no other reason Asher picked that ring. Everything had to look real. Every glance, smile... he had to convince his great-grandfather. "Hmm," Elaine mused, but said nothing more. "So, Leon?" "Stop wasting your breath on that," I let out a long sigh. "There's still nothing." "That's not what I saw when he looked at you." "You saw him for a total of a second—" "Enough to see he has a thing for you, or... something." "You've never been ridiculous before, what changed?" She shrugged. "I don't know. Finding what I have... makes you pay attention. You stop missing what matters." "There is nothing important here, except that we've been friends for a few years now." "Years?" she repeated, brows shooting up. Yeah. Terrible friend. But as much as I wanted to get into this part of my past with my best friend, I couldn't. For the same reasons I hadn't before. "Leon—he guessed I was pregnant before I even considered it. He held my hand when I took the test... and we've been together since." Elaine pouted. "I don't know if I should be jealous or—" "How hard is it?" Asher spat, cutting her off. "To sign a damned piece of paper." What the— "Or were you that desperate to keep my name?" I blinked at him.