I laughed harder at that thought, tipping my head back and staring at the ceiling. “Or a psychiatrist. Or someone with a clipboard. Because this is not normal. This is not how a sane person reacts.”
Alex took a careful step toward me. “Hey. You are scaring me.”
“That makes two of us,” I snapped, and then I laughed again.
“Do you know what is crazy?” I said, my voice climbing. “I am standing here laughing about death. Actual death. Like it is some sick joke the universe decided to play on me.”
The laughter came faster now, higher and more frantic, and tears blurred my vision without slowing it down. My chest felt tight, like it was full of broken glass.
“I think I am losing it,” I said, pressing my fingers into my cheeks as if I needed to check that my face was still real. “I should be
