Holding it in

(Isla) I did not get through the day. Not without it falling apart first. Dinner was always the worst part of my work. I had been helping in the kitchen since I was twelve, so I knew exactly what was expected of me. More than thirty wolves needed to be fed before I was allowed to think about eating. My back still hurt from the whipping Alpha Rodan had given me earlier. I carried another tray from the kitchen into the dining hall. The higher ranking wolves sat at the larger tables while everyone else filled the remaining seats. Alpha Rodan sat at the front with Luna Maren beside him. My family had their usual table nearby. Brent noticed me before I could pass him. "There's too much rice." I stopped beside him. "I'll take some off." He pushed the plate toward me. I reached for it, careful not to spill anything because I knew what another mistake would mean. Brent watched me with the same look he always wore when he knew I couldn't fight back. I kept my attention on the plate instead of him. I removed some of the rice before placing it in front of him again. "Better?" He didn't answer. I turned to leave, but his foot moved into my path. I tripped before I could catch myself, sending my knee into the stone floor. The empty tray slipped from my hands and landed beside me. Several wolves turned at the sound. A few of them looked like they wanted to laugh. None of them did when they noticed Alpha Rodan watching from his table. I picked up the tray without looking at Brent because giving him a reaction would only encourage him. He had spent years finding different ways to make my life worse. "Watch where you're going," Brent said. I stood. "Yes." He leaned back in his chair as if nothing had happened. Vera looked at me from across the table before turning away while Cole continued eating. My mother kept her attention on her plate. My father didn't even look up. I returned to the kitchen and grabbed the next tray. The cooks barely acknowledged me when I entered. Everyone knew better than to interfere when it came to me. Helping the wolfless daughter of Derek Thorne could bring trouble they didn't want. I had stopped expecting anyone to risk themselves for me years ago. I carried bowls of soup into the dining hall. Luna Maren stopped me before I could leave her table. "What is this?" I looked at her bowl. "Soup, Luna." Her eyes narrowed. "Do you think I'm stupid?" "No." She pointed toward the surface of the soup. A tiny dark speck rested near the side of the bowl. I didn't know what it was or how it had gotten there. I knew better than to tell her that. "Take it away." I picked up the bowl. "And bring me another one." "Yes, Luna." My father finally looked at me. "Worthless girl. Always has been." I kept walking. There was nothing I could say that would change his mind. Derek Thorne had decided what I was years ago, long before Alpha Rodan started chaining me inside the shack. My mother had never defended me either. The rest of my family had learned that treating me badly came with no consequences. I replaced Luna Maren's soup and continued serving the remaining tables. By the time everyone had eaten, my knee hurt whenever I put weight on it. My back wasn't any better, but there were still dishes waiting for me. Pain had never been accepted as a reason to stop working. The dining hall began emptying while I carried plates into the kitchen. Pots covered one side of the counter, with bowls and cups waiting beside them. I filled a basin with water before starting on the first stack. If I finished quickly enough, Torvin might take me back to the shack before everyone else settled in for the rest of the evening. I didn't know if there would be food left for me. Sometimes there was. Other times I found scraps in the kitchen after everyone finished eating. I had learned to accept whatever remained because asking for more could bring attention. Attention in Ashcrest rarely ended well for me. I cleaned another pot before reaching for the next one. Just get through today. I repeated the words in my head. They had carried me through years of days exactly like this. I didn't think about next week or next month because thinking too far ahead never helped me. Tomorrow would come whether I wanted it to or not. When it did, I would wake up and do everything again. The Alpha King's upcoming visit had everyone nervous. I had heard his name more times over the past few days than I had in years. Caius Blackthorn ruled every werewolf pack, including Ashcrest. Even Alpha Rodan answered to him. That alone was enough to make me wonder what kind of man could make someone like Rodan nervous. It didn't matter to me. Kings and Alphas belonged to a world I would never be part of. Caius Blackthorn would come to Ashcrest, speak with Rodan, then leave. He probably wouldn't know I existed. That was better for me. Voices rose beyond the kitchen. I stopped cleaning and looked toward the doorway. Several wolves hurried through the hall outside, which wasn't normal after dinner. Most of the pack usually returned to their homes or gathered elsewhere once their work was finished. Something had changed. Torvin entered the kitchen. "Stay in here." I looked at him. "Why?" His expression changed immediately. "Did I tell you to ask questions?" "No." "Then stay where you are." He turned toward the door, but another wolf appeared before he could leave. "Rodan wants everyone ready." Torvin frowned. "He wasn't supposed to arrive until tomorrow." "I know." Something about the other wolf's expression made me forget about the pot in my hands. Torvin stepped closer to him. The voices outside grew louder as more wolves moved through the hall. I remained beside the basin. Torvin lowered his voice. "Who is here?" The wolf glanced toward the hall before answering. "The Alpha King." My breath caught. Caius Blackthorn was already in Ashcrest.