I was so wrong when I'd assumed s*x with Ellie wasn't going to be meaningless... It was. It was hot and exciting, but at its core, it was just a means to an end for her. She liked to have s*x—a lot of it. She'd never hid that fact from me. If I were no longer in the picture, she'd probably go back to getting off with randoms.
And the idea of her reverting to her routine of picking up girl after girl made me absolutely sick to my stomach. The thought of her with anyone else but me twisted me in knots. So, even if I lost a part of myself every time she used me, I allowed it. I allowed her. As far as I was concerned, I preferred her using me to her using someone else. It was the lesser of two evils.
The contrast between who we were now and who we once were was so stark. I felt like the two
