That gives me a little motivation, and I get dressed faster than usual, almost automatically.
As if I need to be ready, but why… I don't know.
I walk back to the kitchen; I'm going to make something to eat. Something simple, something to distract me.
I open the refrigerator and take out a few things. I start moving around, chopping, organizing, breathing. But my eyes… they move on their own.
Toward the door, toward the hallway, toward anywhere that isn't in front of me.
"Enough…"
For a second I felt fear. I thought about picking up the phone and calling Ethan, putting the call on speakerphone so his voice would keep me company, but I shook my head.
I continued what I was doing.
I picked up the knife and started chopping… the knife tapped gently against the cutting board, once, twi
