What’s most bizarre, though, out of all the many bizarre twists and turns my life has taken in the last month, is how I feel.
There’s a surface-level sense of embarrassment. It’s a bit left of shame and a bit south of My divine womanhood has been sinfully besmirched, though it’s got elements of both of those things. From a purely objective point of view, I made very many bad choices last night. I also let Lukas make a few other bad choices on my behalf.
But that’s just on the surface. A distraction, almost, from the real thing that’s caught fire beneath it.
Which is that I feel alive.
Again and again, that’s what I come back to. I’m bristling with life, chock-full of it. I’m basically levitating around my apartment as I shower and dress, make coffee and eat a yogurt and a protein bar.
