Jillian Pierce is a goddamn catastrophe, and yet I keep walking toward her instead of away. Why is that? Good f*****g question. I can’t even explain it, not to Mat, not to myself, not to anyone.
Right now, this problem lives in the dark, where I can pretend it’s manageable. The moment I drag it into the light and let someone else look at it, I lose the only control I have left.
“I’m not discussing a girl with you,” I add when he opens his mouth to keep prying. “So move the f**k on.”
“Fine. Grouchy today.” He waves a hand. “So, setting the not-a-girl aside, let’s discuss whatever Lukas has done to you lately.”
I look at him. “He—”
Mat holds up both hands, palms out. “In broad strokes, though,” he interrupts. “Very broad. I don’t want details. I never want details. You know this.”
“I’
