That’s when, finally, I look.
I just have to. Simply cannot help it. As I round the end of the table, my head turns of its own accord toward the far end, and my eyes find Matvei’s, and the entire terrace dissolves around us.
He is sitting very still. His blue eyes are absolutely, terrifyingly locked on mine.
I don’t know what’s in my face. I don’t have time to control it. I think it’s something like, Help. Or maybe, He knows, he knows, he knows, and I am about to get into a car with him, on icy roads, in the middle of nowhere, and I have a baby in my body, and I don’t know if I am coming back.
Matvei’s jaw flexes once. His chin dips, the smallest fraction of a nod. I see you. I see you, dikarka.
Then his eyes slide off me, and his hand uncurls from the water glass, and he goes back to
