Andre remained dejected and quiet, and Alexander presented himself before the others always tense, more direct. While I was awake and attentive to the two of them, I did not see them make any comment about it or show any other grieving attitude except silence and the dismissal of any opportunity to talk about the recent loss. Alexander watched my movements; more than once I turned around and caught him looking at me seriously from wherever he was. I felt very sorry for Andre again, because the boy was trying to be strong and remain impassive—perhaps on his father’s advice—and Alexander did the same, for everyone’s sake. His burden as leader had an immeasurable weight. That whole world carried much more weight and complexity than I could ever imagine.
So that was my reality: I was shelteri
