Chapter 8 - Pain Relief.

'I imagine one of the reasons people cling to their hate so stubbornly is because they sense, once hate is gone, they will be forced to deal with pain' ~ James Baldwin Daniella's P.O.V. I feel like I'm totally disassociated with reality right now. It's like I'm having an out of body experience where I'm a spectator who's watching what's going on around me and I don't like it because I can't control what's going on or how I'm acting which is pissing me off because I just want to tell these people to get the hell out of my house and leave me alone but I can't because I'm stuck and my physical body seems to be numbed out. When I came home from running some errands, I planned to have a nice, relaxing bath and then chill out on the couch with some takeout food and snacks whilst watching my favourite TV show 9-1-1. I also hoped to get some sketches done as well because I've been slacking lately and I really miss having a pencil between my fingers as I let my creativity flow but no, my plans were ruined when I came home and found five assholes in my house who refused to leave or take any of my threats seriously. It's crazy because I had so much fight and determination in me to kick Enzo and his sons out of my home so that I could get on with my day and forget that they ever existed but somehow, I've ended up sitting in my living room with them as an uncomfortable silence fills the air. I don't know when it happened or why it happened but I would love to know how it happened?. Even now as I sit here in my fathers favourite armchair with one of my arms wrapped around my legs and my chin resting on my free hand whilst trying my hardest to ignore the five dangerous sharks surrounding me, I can't help but to wonder how I allowed this to happen?. When Enzo told me that he wanted to talk to me about us being a family and also about Dante as well, I remember feeling intrigued because there was something in his eyes which made me feel like I should take a chance and hear him out even though I didn't want to. I really didn't want to talk to these people and I certainly didn't want them around me or in my personal space either which is also the same space that once belonged to my parents. I know that this may sound silly and or stupid but it doesn't to me because this is my home, it's my safe space which I shared with my mom and dad, it's also the place where I made so many wonderful and beautiful memories with them and I don't want them to be tainted or ruined by these bikers, more so by the very man who hurt my mom and almost destroyed her life. Unfortunately, there's nothing I can do about it now because these men are as stubborn as I am and they refused to leave until we talked which I didn't want to do but as soon as Enzo said it, I immediately felt all of the fight in me drain as exhaustion replaced it. "Daniella" Enzo's very strong yet soft sounding voice said my name. I looked up at the man who was sitting in the armchair opposite me with his huge tattooed arms resting on his knees and his hands clasped together looking both dangerous and intimidating but weirdly enough, I didn't feel scared or intimidated by him. I don't know if it was his intention to make me feel this way but if it was, then he failed. "I told you that we needed to talk, sweetheart and you haven't said a single word to any of us since we came in here" "Again, I'm not your sweetheart, Enzo, I don't know what's so hard for you to comprehend about that" I said with annoyance in my tone. How hard is it to say Daniella and only Daniella?. It's three freaking syllables, Dan-i-ella, how goddamn hard is that?. "As for talking..." I drifted off whilst shrugging my shoulders. "You're the one who wanted to talk, you never said anything about me opening my mouth" "Christ, you're such a stubborn b***h, Daniella" Enzo's youngest son Rocco growled at me making me smirk. "I'm stubborn just like my daddy" "Yeah, you are" Enzo said with a proud smile which made me groan as I rolled my eyes. "Can we just get this over and done with, please?" I asked with a groan whilst letting out a breath. "The sooner we get this over and done with, the faster you all can get out of my house and leave me the hell alone" "We're never gonna leave you alone, principessa" Enzo said in a serious tone as his eyes blazed with possessiveness but it wasn't the same kind of possessiveness that Dante's eyes always held for me which is a good thing because that would be weird if it did considering this man is my biological father. "Dad's right, sorellina, we can't leave you alone because you're our famiglia" "My family's dead, namesake" I said whilst glaring at Junior who seemed to be hurt by my words which honestly surprised me because I thought that his face only knew one emotion and that's anger. "Only some of your family are dead, Daniella, the rest of us are still here" Enzo said making my heart clench in a weird way but I wasn't sure if it was in a painful, angry or happy way. Please God, don't be the latter. "Look baby...I know that you don't like me right now, Dani..." "Like" I cut him off with a scoff/chuckle. "I f*****g hate you, Enzo" I said with pure venom in my tone. "You used my mother, you got her pregnant and you abandoned us, probably because you were too much of a p***y to tell your wife that you'd stepped out on her and got another woman pregnant" "Dani..." "You broke her" I said through gritted teeth as I made sure to keep eye contact with Enzo. "You nearly destroyed her and you probably would've succeeded as well if it wasn't for my actual dad stepping up like a real man and saving us" I tell him and I hate that I felt guilty when I saw the hurt and pain in his eyes. "I'm not saying this to hurt you, Enzo, I'm saying it because it's the truth" I said with a sigh. "My mom was my age when you screwed her over and left her a broken and pregnant mess, Enzo and if it wasn't for my dad being in the right place at the right time, then she probably would've given up on life...actually...I know for a fact that she would have done if it wasn't for him" I whispered the last part with tears in my eyes which I hoped to god wouldn't fall because A) I'm fed up of crying and B) I didn't want any of these assholes to see me cry. I also hoped that they didn't see my tears or heard what I said but unfortunately, I'm not that lucky. "What do you mean by she would have done? what does that mean?" Enzo asks me and I looked at him for a few brief seconds before answering him. "It means that my mom gave me this beautiful love story about how she and my father met each other and for years, I believed it...until I overheard them talking one night about how they really met one another" I said with a tight smile. "Apparently, they met when my dad saved my mom from killing herself when she was pregnant with me" I said as several gasps/angry groans filled the room. "I don't understand...why would she do that?" Reno asked sounding shocked and angry. "Because my mother thought that your father was worth killing us over, that's why" I said as I looked over at Enzo with a sneer as he looked back at me with pain in his eyes. "Dani..." "You broke her" I said through gritted teeth. "YOU broke my mother, you broke her heart and you made her feel like she couldn't go on with her life until my dad, my real dad came along and pulled her down from that ledge" I growl at him and this time, I couldn't stop my tears from falling. "My dad was the best thing that ever happened to my mom and me...he may not have been my real father but he was still my dad, whether you like it or not because he did everything for us, he worked hard day and night to make sure that we were happy and had a good life, something that you could never do because you were too busy with your real family to care about us, so please forgive me if my words have hurt your feelings but it's not like you don't deserve it" "I know" Enzo said with a strained and husky voice as he nodded his head. He then rubbed his nose with his sleeve before angrily wiping away the tears falling down his face. "Your mother was a wonderful woman, Daniella and she didn't deserve what I did to her" "No, she didn't" I said through gritted teeth. "I know" Enzo said with a sigh. "But the fact is that it happened and I wish that I could say that I regret it but I don't" What?. I angrily thought to myself as I glared at Enzo. "Don't get me wrong, I regret using your mother and cheating on my wife, I regret all of the pain and suffering that I put them both through but I'd never take back what I did because that would mean that I'd have to regret having you and that's something that I will never ever regret, sweetheart" He said and I looked away from him. "Look at me, baby" He pleads with me and I shake my head. "No" "Please" Enzo said practically above a whisper and I couldn't stop myself from looking at him. "I know that you won't believe me when I say this but I really did love your mom, Dani" Yeah, I'm sure you did. I thought to myself with a scoff whilst rolling my eyes. "And I love you too" What?. "How?" I ask in a husky voice before clearing my throat. "How can you love someone you don't even know?" I ask him and he smiles a genuine and heartfelt smile at me. "Because you're my daughter Daniella...you're my baby girl, my principessa" He said causing my breath to hitch as my glare softened slightly. "Look, I know that you've been through a lot lately, baby and that us being here right now isn't helping you..." "You think" I said with a scoff and he closed his eyes whilst sighing. "I also know that it's way too soon for you to even consider giving us a chance and having a relationship with us and I get it...I don't like it because you're mine and I want you to be a part of our famiglia but I understand it and I respect it...all I'm asking is for you to give us a chance, that's all" He pleads with me and I shake my head. "I can't" "Yes, you can" He says sternly. "You can because we're your famiglia and you're gonna need us, Dani" "I don't need anyone" I said through gritted teeth as someone scoffs. "Once a stubborn b***h, always a stubborn b***h, I see" One of the assholes muttered under their breath which I chose to ignore because I was too mentally exhausted to jump up and kick their asses. "Being stubborn is a Castello trait, son but you're just gonna have to get over that, Daniella because whether you like it or not...we're your famiglia and we're not going anywhere" Great.