Chapter 9 - Let It Go.

'Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for another to die' ~ Carrie Fisher Daniella's P.O.V. "Now, about Dante, baby" Urgh!!, can this day get any worse?. I groaned to myself as I closed my eyes and threw my head back on the chair. "We don't need to talk about him, Enzo" "Yes, we do, sweetheart" "NO, WE DON'T!!" I growled in frustration as I glared at my biological father. "Dante and I are done, we're over, there's nothing between us anymore, so there's nothing for us to talk about" "Isn't there?" Junior asks whilst staring at me intently with an intrigued and curious look in his eyes. There was also something about his question which didn't sit right with me because it felt like it had a double meaning to it and I didn't like the thought of either one of them. "No, there isn't" "You know that's not true, baby" Enzo said and as much as I hate to admit it, I knew that he was telling me the truth. I mean, I would love nothing more than to sit here and say that Dante and I are over and done with forever but the truth is that we're not and I don't think we ever will be. The thought of that alone is enough to scare the hell out of me but that doesn't mean that I can't be in denial about it, right?. "Dante and I are over and we've been over ever since I found out that he's been lying to me and my parents for three whole years" I tell him stubbornly. "And even if we weren't done, what business is it of yours?" "It's all of our business, Daniella because you're our famiglia and so is Dante" Rocco said and I rolled my eyes. "Whatever you say" "Daniella, sweetheart..." Enzo drifted off with a sigh whilst rubbing his forehead in frustration. He then looked up at me and I gasped slightly when I saw all of the different emotions in his eyes which I hated to see because they were feelings that you would only ever find in someone who is worried and concerned about someone they love. I really didn't want to be loved by these people, especially not by Enzo. Does that make me a b***h?. "Baby, I get that Dante lied to you and he betrayed your trust and I promise you, Dani, none of us, especially your step-mother and sister are happy with him right now" "Yeah, I'm sure you're not" I said with a scoff which seemed to offend and annoy Enzo. "We're not, sweetheart" He growled at me. "Look Daniella amore, I know that you don't see us as your famiglia but we see you as ours and that's why we're so freaking angry with Dante for what he's done to you because you're our baby girl, you're mine, whether you like it or not, young lady and I don't like it when anyone, especially not someone who I'm close to, who I've treated like a son has hurt what's mine" "You don't know what you're talking about" I said with a tired sigh as tears slowly trickled down my face. "I know more than you think, principessa" Enzo said barely above a whisper as I opened my eyes and looked at him. "I know that Dante lied to you about who and what he is, about our club...about me, about knowing me" "I told him no bikers" I said through gritted teeth as I sneered at Enzo. "That was my number one rule with dating after what you did to my mom and that bastard broke it" "Yeah, I know, sweetheart but is that really such a crime?" What?. I thought to myself feeling annoyed. "Are you being serious?...what the hell is wrong with you people?" I asked in disbelief as I looked around at each of the men with fury in my eyes. "Is lying part of your dumbass clubs motto or something?" "No, baby, it's not" "THEN, WHY?" I growl at Enxo. "Why are you so hellbent on accepting lying as a normal thing?" "I'm not, Daniella" Enzo said sounding hurt. "Well, clearly you are...I mean, you of ALL people should know that lies create nothing but pain, distrust and chaos, it doesn't matter if it's a big lie or a little lie, a lie is still a lie" "Yes, I do know that, baby and it's because of my personal experiences with your mom and my wife that I know how much lying, no matter how big or small the lie is can completely destroy a person" He says making my frustration grow even further. "Then, why are we even having this conversation?" I ask him as I felt my energy start to drain even further. "Because if I know that Dante is a liar and you know that he's a liar and we both agree that lying is bad, then why are you here? and why are we still talking about this?" "Because Dante's a mess, sweetheart" What?. I thought to myself whilst trying to suppress a chuckle. "Is this a joke?" "No, it's not a joke, Daniella, wh..why?..." Luciano drifted off as he briefly looked around at his dad and brothers in confusion before looking back at me. "Why would you think we're joking about this?" "Because Dante Deluca's never a mess, he's the most put together man that I've ever met in my entire life, well...except for my dad, of course" "Yeah, well now he's the most broken and dysfunctional mess we've ever met, Daniella and we don't like it" "Luciano's right, sorellina" Reno said with a sigh as he stood next to his dad with his huge tattooed arms crossed over his chest. "Ever since you two broke up, Dante's been like a bear with a sore head...he's been moody and angry, he's snapping at everyone and he's got the entire clubhouse feeling like they're walking around on eggshells because they're anxious and scared about getting on his bad side which says a lot because nothing scares us bikers, principessa, nothing" "Except for losing the ones we love, sweetheart" Enzo said whilst stroking his bearded chin. "Our wives, our kids, our brothers and everyone else that we love are a bikers achilles heel, Daniella" "Apparently not for you, Enzo" I said with a scoff. "I mean, you were more than happy to leave your kid behind twenty one years ago, weren't you?" I said with an angry smile which he matched but his smile was more pained than it was angry. "I guess, I deserve that" You deserve more than that, asshole. I thought to myself whilst rolling my eyes. "Anyway...what's any of this got to do with me?" I asked with an annoyed sigh. "Because whether you like it or not, principessa, you're Dante's woman..." "I'm not..." I tried to cut him off but Enzo held his hand up to shush me like he was shushing a disobedient child. "You're Dante's woman, his old lady and that means something in our world, especially for a woman like you, baby" "Really? and what does it mean, Captain Caveman?" I lazily asked Enzo who had a sneer on his face but I wasn't sure if it was aimed at me or if it was a natural expression. I may not know these men very well but in my opinion, they seem like the type of guys who have got an angry stick permanently wedged up their asses. I mean, why else would they look so angry and uptight all of the time?. "It means you're property of president Dante DeLuca, you're property of the Steele Vipers MC but most importantly, Daniella, it means that you're the queen of our MC" "President?" I asked with a chuckle. "So, what does that make me, huh? his first lady?" I joked but the looks on their faces quickly shut me up. "This is a joke, right?" I ask them and Enzo shakes his head. "Nothing about the MC life is a joke, Dani" "I don't understand any of this" "That's understandable, amore" Enzo said as he let out a breath whilst scratching the back of his neck. "I guess the best way I can describe the MC life to you is like with ships and their crew, they don't function properly without their captain and if there's ever a case where the ship sinks, then the captain always goes down with it, right?" "Yeah, so?" I ask feeling confused as Enzo smiles at me. "Well, it's the same thing for an MC, Daniella...an MC is nothing without it's president and if he goes down, then so does the whole MC" "But if the president has found his anchor, his old lady...his queen who is the heart of our club, then the MC should run like clockwork" Huh. "I don't understand" I say causing Junior to groan whilst rolling his eyes. "An MC is only as strong as their president and a president is only strong when he's got his old lady by his side to keep him calm and centred" "What? like Yin and Yang?" I ask and all five of the men laugh. "Sort of, principessa...you're the Yin to Dante's Yang" "Right" I said whilst nodding my head feeling annoyed. "So, you're saying that it's my fault your little boys club is falling apart?" I asked through gritted teeth as Enzo looked at me with a stoic expression while his sons sneered at me, well, all of them except for Junior who looked like he was about to jump up and murder me. "First of all, Daniella, it's a motorcycle club, not a little boys club and secondly, yes, all of this is your fault because you're acting like a f*****g child" "Lorenzo, knock it off" "No, I won't, dad" Junior growled at his father before looking back at me. "This spoiled little b***h is acting like she's the only one who's hurting, like she's the only one on the goddamn planet who's ever felt pain" He said making me smile a hard smile at him. "Well, if you want, princess, I can slap the taste out of your mouth again and make it harder this time so that you can feel some real pain too" "IF IT HELPS, THEN DO IT!!" He growled in frustration. "If hitting us and shouting at us helps you to release all of the anger, pain and resentment that you've got inside of you for dad, for us, the club, for losing your parents and Dante, then do it...if it helps to heal you, then do whatever it takes to heal yourself" "Your brothers right, baby girl, you can't keep all of this bottled up inside of you, it's not healthy" Enzo said as angry tears rolled down my cheeks. "So, you want me to get angry and do something I'm not ready for because Dante's making life hard for you guys? is that what you're saying?" "No, it's not" He said whilst shaking his head. "What I'm saying is that I want you to do it for you, so that you can heal and move on from this, so that you can be happy again, principessa" "And why would you want that, huh?" I ask him and he smiles sadly at me. "Because I hate to see my baby in pain, Dani" He said sounding like he actually cares. "Still sounds selfish to me" I said in a husky whisper as Enzo shrugged his shoulders like he agreed with me. "I'm always selfish when it comes to my kids, baby" He said shocking me. Enzo then looked towards his sons and nodded his head to the side telling them to leave which they did. I felt relieved knowing that they were finally leaving me alone but then my heart rate picked up again when Enzo stood up from his chair and walked over to me. He then knelt down in front of me and cupped my face with his rough hands whilst making sure to keep a tight yet comfortable grip on me because of my reluctance and resistance to his touch. "I know that you're hurting, baby and as your father, I wish that there was something that I could do to help you heal but I can't because that's a journey only you can make, Dani...but what I can do, is I can give you some advice" "Oh, really? and what advice is that then?" I ask as Enzo turns my face to look at him and I felt my breath hitch when my eyes locked with his overly emotional baby blues which I knew was mirroring my own. "Let it go" He says barely above a whisper. "I know that you've got so much anger and resentment in you towards me, towards bikers because in your mind, a biker hurt both you and your mom but that's not true...I mean, yes, technically it is true that Dante and I hurt you both but it wasn't because we're bikers, baby" He said as he placed one of his hands on top of my entwined hands. "You're focusing way too hard on the biker part, sweetheart when you shouldn't" "And why shouldn't I?" I growl at him. "Because bikers aren't bad people, baby" "Aren't they?" I ask him and he shakes his head slightly whilst smiling at me. "No, they're not and we're certainly not your enemy, Dani" "Then, what are you?" I ask barely above a whisper. "A biker is just what we are, sweetheart, it's a lifestyle" He says as he wipes the stray tear from my cheek. "It wasn't our lifestyle that hurt you and your mom, it was the man on the bike that caused you both so much pain, Dani" Enzo says making me gasp slightly. "Look baby, I'm not gonna force you to forgive and forget everything that's happened and I'm certainly not gonna force you to go and see Dante if you don't want to but I would really appreciate it if you did, if not for me and your brothers, then for you and him because you both deserve some closure so that you can move on and be happy" Enzo said before kissing my forehead. "I'll see you soon, my sweet girl" He said with a smile as he left my home leaving me all alone as I broke down in tears letting out all of the pain and anger that has been building up inside of me for the past few weeks.