Chapter 12 - We Can't Be Fixed.

Daniella's P.O.V. It's said that it only takes just one of our senses to trigger a memory, even the ones that we don't want to remember. It doesn't matter if it's a good, bad or ugly memory, all it takes is one thing, a sight, sound, scent or even a taste to act as a key to unlock a whole room of memories in our brains and that's what happened with me when I walked into Dante's bedroom. I knew that coming here would break down the wall that I'd built between us brick by brick until it eventually crumbled into tiny pieces but what I wasn't expecting was to be as overstimulated as I ended up being. I mean, just the smell of Dante's scent alone was enough to cause my breath to hitch as my eyes burned with fresh tears because of all of the memories that we've got in this room, all of which, I didn't want to remember, even if the majority of them are good ones. "Jesus Christ, this guy is heavier than he looks" "It's not surprising considering how much he benches every day, brother" "It's the alcohol" I said absentmindedly as Luciano and Lorenzo Junior struggled to bring Dante into his room. "Drunk folk naturally become deadweight because they've lost postural muscle tone which means that they can't balance, brace or handle their own weight, not to mention that it can make a person dizzy and more prone to stumbling as well because it impairs our ability to think properly and control our actions including being able to stand up or walk properly" I explained to them as they all looked at me confused. "What?" "How do you know all of that?" Luciano asks sounding intrigued. "My abuelita was a toxicologist" (Granny) "Huh...that makes sense, I guess" He says as he and Junior place Dante on his bed. I groaned and shook my head as I watched the usually strong and powerful Dante DeLuca acting like a weak, pathetic mess. I know pain can make us do some crazy and irrational things and I also know that a lot of people turn to things like alcohol and drugs to help relieve them of their pain, at least for a few hours but this is too much for me. I mean, if Dante wasn't still trying to talk and move, then I'd think he was dead, that's how drunk out of his mind he is. "Don't...don't let her leave" He said whilst lazily pointing his finger at me. "Leave and lock the door" "You can't keep her here against her will, son, she's got free will just like every other damn citizen of this country has" Enzo growled at him. "She's mine" Dante says barely above a whisper. "Correction, she was yours, she's not anymore" "No, Dani please..." Dante drifted off as he tried to reach for me at the same time Enzo did. "Dani baby, let's go" "No, it's ok, I'll stay with him" "Dani..." Enzo tried again but I cut him off. "Go, I'll be fine" "Are you sure?" Junior asked me and I nodded my head. "Yeah, he's too drunk to even lift his head right now, let alone do anything else" I said with a sigh. "Ok" The men then left the room as I kept my gaze on Dante. I had a million and one thoughts running through my mind and I couldn't make sense of any of them, well, except for one. What the hell am I doing?. I thought to myself as I felt a rough hand grip mine. I briefly looked down at the tattooed, olive skinned hand before looking up at it's owner who was staring at me intently. I narrowed my eyes in confusion at him when he leaned in close to my ear and said something to me which both startled and confused me. "He wants us to lock the door, principessa and what our prez wants, our prez gets" He says and I rolled my eyes. Figures. "But this is the skeleton key to the clubhouse, it opens every door in this house" He says whilst squeezing my hand and that's when I felt something cold and hard in my hand. "If you wanna leave at any time, then use it...don't let him keep you here if you don't want to be" Junior said and I was so startled by what he said that I didn't even realise he'd kissed my temple and had left the room until he was gone and I heard the sound of a lock clicking behind me. I then let out a breath as I attempted to sit down in one of the chairs by the window but I was stopped in my tracks by Dante's demanding ass. "Don't you dare...sit here" He said whilst pointing to the spot next to him on the bed. "Dante..." "Don't defy me, kitten, I may be drunk but I'm not paralytic" "Could've fooled me" I muttered under my breath. "What did you say, babe?" "Nothing" I said with a sigh. "Look Dante, I'm just here to make sure you don't do anything stupid and reckless while you're drunk" "I already did that when I lied to you for three years straight" He said with a slight chuckle as I closed my eyes feeling pained. "I'm sorry, Dani, I really am" "Yeah, you've said" "And I meant it, babe" He said with a slight growl in his voice. "I really wish I could find a way to express to you just how sorry I am, baby because I want nothing more than to fix our relationship, to fix us but I..." "But you can't" I snapped at him. "You can't express how sorry you are, if you even are sorry..." "I am" He cut me off with a growl. "I am sorry, Dani, I'm sorry for everything...I never should've lied to you" "Yeah well, you did and I'll never truly know how sorry you are or aren't because I lost all of my trust in you, the day that I found out that you're a biker" "Why can't you let the whole biker thing go, babe?" Dante asked sounding exhausted as I glared at him. "I beg your damn pardon" I growled at him. "A biker hurt my mom, he abandoned me and then another one came along and hurt me as well" "It wasn't the biker, Daniella baby, it was the man on the bike who just happens to wear a leather kutte that caused you so much pain" "You sound just like him" I groaned in disgust. "If by him you mean Enzo, then he's right, a biker didn't hurt you or your mom, it was the man" "And that makes everything ok?" I ask in disbelief as he groans/sighs. "Of course it doesn't, babe" "Good because it doesn't" I growled at him. "It doesn't matter if you wear a bikers jacket, a pair of scrubs, a police officers uniform or a firefighters uniform, you still lied to me and you've caused me an unimaginable amount of pain by doing so" "I know and I'm sorry, Dani, I really am" "I don't believe you" I said barely above a whisper as tears streamed down my face. "I don't believe a word you say anymore" "I know but it's the truth, Daniella" He says whilst nodding his head slightly. "I am sorry and it kills me every day that I lied to you because I love you, girl...I love you so freaking much and I hate what I've done to you, babe" "It doesn't matter, I don't trust you" I said in a pained whisper before taking a breath. "You remember what my dad used to say about trust, right?...when trust has been broken, sorry means absolutely nothing because without a change in one's behaviour, the words are hollow" I say and he chuckles. "Your dad always was a wise old egg, Daniella" Yeah, he was. "That's probably why I always felt so inferior to him" What?. "You felt inferior to my dad?...why?" I asked in disbelief as Dante looked over at me. "Of course, I did" Dante said as he attempted to sit up which he managed to do after several tries. "Mario Lopez was always the pinnacle in your life that no man could ever reach, Daniella, I mean, you could literally bring home the most perfect man in the whole world and that still wouldn't be enough to reach your dad's level because to you, baby...to you, he was the perfect man" "Yeah, he was perfect but so were you, Dante and that's why he loved you so much because he thought you were just like him which made you perfect for his little girl...little did he or any of us know that you were a fake who was lying to us the entire time" I say as Dante looks over at me with a guilty expression. "Can I fix this? is there a way to fix this? because I need to do it, baby...I need to fix what's broken between us, so that you can forgive me and we can go back to normal and be happy again" "That's not possible, Dante" "Yes, it is, Dani..." "NO, IT'S NOT!!" I cut him off with a growl. "It's not possible because even if there was a chance to fix our broken relationship...things would never be the same between us because I'd always be questioning you and doubting every word that you'd say or every promise that you'd make to me which isn't fair to either of us" "I can live with that, babe" He says sounding hopeful as I let out a whimper. "But I can't, Dante" I said barely above a whisper. "You may be ok with living a lie but I'm not" I tell him and his breath hitched as a stray tear rolled down his cheek. We didn't do much talking after that, actually, we didn't do much of anything because we both fell asleep not long afterwards. To be fair, I don't even remember falling asleep, it was only after I woke up with a sore back as I spotted the sun rising through my half open eyes that I realised my exhaustion had finally took over me after our argument. I wish that I could say it was all worth it but truthfully, I don't think I can because of how drunk Dante was last night. My dad always used to say that arguing/trying to talk to someone who is drunk is like trying to swim with concrete weights attached to your body, it's useless and pointless. I wish that I had remembered this last night so that I could save myself the energy of arguing with a drunk because I feel exhausted in more ways than one right now. "Urgh!!" I groaned as I sat my stiff body up on the couch. Whoever invented these things was either a woman who had been scorned badly by a man and wanted to punish him or it was just someone who hated people in general because they're not comfortable to sleep on at all. I once again groaned as I rubbed my neck whilst looking over at Dante who was now lying flat on his stomach and snoring away sounding like a damn freight train on a rickety track which he always did whenever he'd had a few too many the night before. I didn't want to stick around and wait for him to wake up, so I quickly picked up the skeleton key that Junior had given me the night before and I unlocked the door whilst giving one last look to Dante before leaving the room and heading downstairs. I had hoped to leave this godforsaken place without seeing anyone but unfortunately for me, God doesn't think that I've suffered enough just yet. "Doing the walk of shame, principessa" Urgh!! God, give me strength. "Go and play in traffic, namesake" I said stoically without looking at Junior who chuckled at me before saying something which left me feeling confused. "You know, I thought you'd prove me right last night" "What?" I asked in exasperation as I looked over at the smug prick's face. "When I called you last night, I didn't have much hope in you that you'd actually show up, in fact, I was willing to put a bet on you not coming here to help us but you did anyway and you proved me wrong" "You didn't leave me much of a choice, Junior" I said through gritted teeth. "Didn't I?" He asked sounding smug which pissed me off. "No, you didn't" I growled at him. "You threatened to come to my house and get me if I didn't come on my own and that it wouldn't be pretty if you made me" "Yeah, I did say that, didn't I?" He asked with a chuckle whilst biting down on his lower lip making me feel even angrier than I already was. "But I knew you would've come with or without my little threat, sweetheart" "Oh, really? and what makes you so sure, huh?" I asked him and he smirked as he stepped closer to me. "Because even though you're stubborn and headstrong, Daniella, you're also kind-hearted and caring and you'd never leave someone you love to suffer...even if they're the ones who have caused you nothing but pain" "You don't know me" I said with a glare as he smiled at me. "I know you better than you think, sweetheart" He said with a slight smile before sighing sadly. "You know...it's a shame that you and Dante can't make things work, Dani because you would've made one hell of a biker queen if you did" He said bringing bile to my throat as I smiled a hard smile at him. "I guess you'll just have to settle for second best then, won't you?" I growled at him before storming out of the clubhouse and heading over to my car. I then let out a relieved sigh when I found myself in the safety of my vehicle but my relief didn't last for long when my phone suddenly pinged with a text from Dante and what he said made my heart skip a beat but I wasn't sure if it was in a good way or a bad way. 'I'm not giving up on you, kitten, I'm not giving up on us, I'm gonna find a way to fix us, just you watch' Oh lord.