CH 18 - Persefone

PERSEFONE POV I didn’t remember exactly when the greenhouse became my safe haven, but now… here I was. Every time my world crumbled around me—which lately was happening way too f*****g much—this place was the only one able to quiet my head enough to breathe. Maybe it was the smell. The humidity hanging in the air. The scent of earth, roses and exotic plants growing wildly around me. Or maybe it was the silence. Quiet in the way the rest of the pack never really was. Sunlight filtered softly through the glass ceiling above me while condensation clung to the windows and the scent of wet earth wrapped around my lungs like something familiar enough to keep me standing. I needed that. Needed something that still made sense before my brain spiraled right back toward Thane’s rough voice cracking apart in my bedroom. I shoved it down aggressively. Didn’t work worth s**t. Because now every stupid thing about them lived somewhere beneath my skin. Keres’ hand around mine in the hospital hallway, Aiden’s eyes watching me like the entire world had narrowed down to whether I was breathing or not. My chest tightened violently. God. I hated this. Hated how fast they’d gotten under my skin. Hated that even now, standing surrounded by roses and dirt and things that actually made sense, part of me was still listening for footsteps behind me. Plants made sense. Roots. Growth. Water. Light. You gave them what they needed and they either lived or they didn’t. Simple. Unlike mates. Unlike wolves. Unlike my completely ruined f*****g life. I crouched beside one of the hybrid seedlings carefully, fingers brushing lightly through the dark soil while checking the tiny roots spreading inside the planter. These little things would be ready for bigger pots in a couple of days. At least something in my life wasn’t falling apart overnight. I reached automatically for the small scissors beside the tray and started trimming dry leaves from the older plants one by one, focusing hard on the repetitive movement. Cut. Drop. Cut. Drop. Anything to stop my brain from replaying that moment over and over again. I clipped a leaf too aggressively. Wonderful. Now even my roses were suffering emotional damage. The greenhouse door creaked softly behind me. I didn’t turn immediately. Only one person walked into rooms like sunlight itself personally followed her around. “Brought caffeine offerings,” Penny announced dramatically. I finally looked up. She stood near the entrance wearing oversized pajama shorts covered in tiny moons while balancing two coffee cups in her hands and somehow still looking annoyingly pretty despite the fact neither of us had slept properly. Her smile softened slightly the second her eyes landed on me. Scanning me up and down. Like only she could. Like one look was enough to strip every thought straight out of my skull and lay my entire soul bare in front of her. Uh oh. Penny crossed the greenhouse slowly before handing me one of the cups. “How do you feel?” I shrugged automatically before taking a sip. Exactly the way I liked it. Sweet enough to soften the bitterness without completely hiding it. Comforting. “I feel like only the worst half of me is left,” I admitted quietly. That made her smile falter instantly. Just for a second. Then she tried covering it by biting her lip and looking away toward the plants instead. Failed miserably. Because I knew Penny better than I knew myself sometimes. I knew every tiny expression she made when she was worried. Every nervous habit. Every fake smile. And right now? My sister looked terrified. I immediately regretted my words. Penny had enough going on already without carrying my emotional breakdown too. So instead I did what I always did best. Deflected. Hard. I plastered my best fake smile onto my face—which unfortunately she knew just as well too—and pointed my coffee cup toward her suspiciously. “So,” I drawled slowly, forcing lightness back into my voice, “are we going to discuss why Mister Tall-Dark-and-Hopelessly-Into-You apparently kissed the absolute common sense out of you?” Penny blinked. Then groaned dramatically into her coffee. “Oh goddess. Absolutely not.” “Oh yes.” She dropped beside me against the wooden planter with enough force to make a few leaves tremble. Interesting. Usually Penny floated into rooms. “That bad?” I asked carefully now. Her fingers tightened slightly around the cup. And suddenly I knew. My stomach dropped before she even opened her mouth. “He’s not my mate,” she admitted quietly. Well. Fuck. The word sat heavily between us. Because Penny looked wrecked already. Not crying. Not devastated. Worse. Hopeful. Like she already liked him enough to let herself imagine impossible things. I hated that look instantly. “But…” she added softly. And there it was. That stupid little smile again. Small. Private. Dangerous. Oh no. “You kissed him,” I guessed immediately. Penny’s cheeks turned pink so fast it almost distracted me from the fact both our lives were apparently becoming romantic disasters simultaneously. “Well technically,” she muttered, staring into her coffee like it personally betrayed her, “he kissed me first.” “And?” “And…” Her entire face softened helplessly. “I kissed him back.” God. She was completely gone already. I saw it instantly. The way her shoulders loosened just thinking about him. The dreamy look in her eyes. The tiny unconscious smile she was trying—and failing—to hide. And maybe that should’ve been cute. Instead it made something ache deep inside my chest. Because Penny deserved impossible happy endings more than anybody I knew. And somehow destiny still looked at both of us and said: absolutely f*****g not. I tried very hard not to focus on the exact look women in movies got right before ruining their lives over emotionally unavailable men currently plastered all over her face and went for the let’s keep it cool approach instead. “Penelope Savage,” I whispered dramatically. “You’re doomed.” “I know,” she whispered back with absolutely zero shame. Then she groaned loudly before collapsing sideways against my shoulder. “You don’t understand,” she complained. “He smelled amazing and his hands were huge and then he kissed me and I swear to goddess I temporarily forgot my own name.” A startled laugh escaped me before I could stop it. “There she is,” Penny said immediately, pointing at me triumphantly. “That’s the first real laugh I’ve heard from you since midnight.” My smile faded slightly after that. Because watching Penny talk about him— about this Alpha she already clearly liked way too much— hurt in a completely different way. She looked happy. Really happy. And all I could think about was the fact there was no future there. Not if he wasn’t her mate. Not in our world. Eventually destiny would rip him away from her too. Just like apparently destiny had decided giving me mates only to have one of them practically reject me before sunrise sounded hilarious. Honestly? The Goddess had a sick f*****g sense of humor. One twin kissed the wrong man. The other got rejected by the right ones. Fantastic. We really must’ve committed atrocities in a previous life. Penny nudged my shoulder lightly after a moment. “You wanna talk about it?” “Nope.” Absolutely not. “That bad?” I stared quietly at the tiny hybrid seedlings instead, taking another sip of coffee instead. Water droplets still clung to the dark leaves while pale morning sunlight spilled softly across the soil. Growing. Changing. Trying to survive despite being made from things that probably should’ve never belonged together in the first place. My throat tightened unexpectedly at the thought. “Thane thinks I should reject them,” I admitted finally. Penny went completely still beside me. “What?” I laughed weakly. Still wrong. Still painful. “He thinks we don’t deserve each other.” “That’s stupid,” she said immediately. Protective twin mode activated. I almost smiled again. “He’s an ass,” I muttered automatically. Penny snorted immediately. “That's putting it lightly.” But even as I said it, the memory of Thane’s face that morning flashed through my head again. Exhausted. Wrecked. Like those words had hurt him too. Which was stupid. And annoying. And unfortunately didn’t stop me from thinking about it anyway. Penny stared at me for another second. Then suddenly her entire expression sharpened. Oh no. I knew that look. “We are not doing the emotionally constipated greenhouse mourning thing all day.” “I beg your finest pardon?” “You heard me.” She stood up dramatically before grabbing my wrist and yanking me toward the exit. “You are showering, putting on something hot and reminding those three emotionally damaged idiots exactly what they’re about to lose.” I nearly choked on my coffee. “Penny—” “Nope. I refuse to let you spiral looking like a Victorian ghost surrounded by emotional support roses.” A startled laugh escaped me again. “I hate you.” “No you don’t.” Fair. She kept dragging me toward the greenhouse door anyway. “And,” she added with sudden dreamy violence, “if Kyan swallows his own tongue looking at me before he goes back to his pack, that’s honestly just self-care at this point.” Oh goddess. She was down catastrophic. “You’re unbelievable.” “And yet,” Penny sighed dramatically, pulling the greenhouse door open, “I remain the mentally healthier twin somehow.” Debatable. Very debatable.