CH 17 - Persefone

PERSEFONE POV “...before it’s too late.” Thane’s words dragged me out of sleep slowly. My body stayed perfectly still beneath the blankets while my brain struggled through exhaustion hard enough to understand what the hell I’d just heard. Reject us. For one horrible second, I genuinely hoped I was still dreaming. Then Thane spoke again. “She has to reject us before this gets worse.” The crack in his voice sliced straight through my chest. Fear. Not anger. Not disgust. Fear. And somehow that felt worse. Because Thane Tartarus terrified me a little. He terrified everybody. The idea of him sounding scared over me should not have hurt like a knife twisting slowly between my ribs. But it did. I kept my breathing slow automatically, eyes still closed while panic and confusion tangled violently inside my stomach. Part of me wanted to open my eyes immediately and demand answers. Another part— the smarter part— needed to hear more first. “You’re f*****g serious right now?” Aiden snapped quietly. “She doesn’t deserve us,” Thane said, so much anger in his voice I almost flinched. “And she will never want us.” The words came out sharp. Immediate. Like he’d already carved them into his own skull a thousand times alone in the dark. Something twisted painfully beneath my ribs. Stupid. That feeling was f*****g stupid. Because Thane had made it very clear already what he thought about packs, Alphas and everything I represented. So why did hearing him say that still hurt? Keres scoffed harshly from somewhere beside the bed. “I think you’re scared shitless and lying to yourself like a damn fool.” “Agreed,” Aiden shot back immediately. The room went quiet for half a second. Then Keres spoke again, rougher this time. “We are f****d up,” he admitted flatly. “I know that. But at least I’m not terrified of the first good thing that’s happened to us in years.” Silence slammed through the room instantly. Tense enough I could almost feel it pressing against my skin even with my eyes closed. Because apparently Keres had hit a nerve. A bad one. And for some completely insane reason— my heart hurt a little hearing that. The scrape of wood against the floor made me realize Thane had probably stood up too fast. “Lower your f*****g voice,” he growled. “You lower yours.” A dangerous pulse of energy rolled through the room after that. Male ego. Wolf bullshit. Protective instincts turning violent. My fingers curled slightly against the blanket. Goddess. If they were talking about rejection like this— fighting over it— then it had to be real. The bond. Them. Us. Even if Eden was still silent inside me. Even if I couldn’t feel her. They believed it. No. Worse. They felt it. And suddenly I didn’t know where the hell that left me. Because my whole life I’d been terrified my mate would try to cage me somehow. Tie me down. Reduce me into somebody smaller and easier to swallow. Too loud. Too stubborn. Too ambitious. Too much. I’d spent years convincing myself I didn’t need a mate because eventually some fragile male ego would crack under the pressure of me existing exactly the way I was. But now— now it seemed that wasn’t the problem at all. Thane’s words made that painfully clear. I wasn’t too much. I wasn’t enough. Something cracked inside my chest so suddenly it actually hurt to breathe. A sharp inhale escaped me before I could stop it. Oh no. No no no— My eyes flew open at the exact same moment all three of them turned toward me. For one horrible second nobody moved. Then panic hit their faces almost simultaneously. Different kinds of panic. Aiden surged halfway to his feet immediately, eyes wide like he’d just realized a bomb was about to explode. Keres looked guilty. Actually guilty. And Thane— God. Thane looked like somebody had driven a knife straight through his ribs. “Persefone—” My name barely left his mouth before a laugh escaped me. Wrong. Too shaky. Too close to breaking. Humiliating. Absolutely f*****g humiliating. I shoved the blankets off violently before any of them could get closer. “No, it’s fine,” I said too quickly, voice already cracking anyway. “Really. Don’t stop on my account.” “Princess—” Keres started carefully. “Don’t.” The word came out sharper than I intended. His mouth shut instantly. Good. Because if any of them touched me right now I was genuinely afraid I might completely lose my s**t. And I refused. Absolutely refused. Not over boys. Not over a bond I still couldn’t even fully feel. Not while Eden was still missing inside me. That thought hit hard enough another horrible ache twisted through my chest. Empty. God I felt empty. Aiden took one cautious step toward me anyway. “You heard out of context—” “Oh good,” I snapped immediately. “So there’s a better context for ‘she should reject us before it’s too late’?” Silence. That answered enough. Something hot burned behind my eyes instantly and I hated myself for it. Hated it. I never cried over boys. But exhaustion and adrenaline and heartbreak and confusion had apparently teamed up tonight to ruin my f*****g life. One tear slipped free anyway. I wiped it away violently before it could fall properly. The room somehow got even quieter after that. And the worst part? They all looked devastated seeing it. Even Thane. Especially Thane. His hands curled into fists so tight I saw his knuckles go white. “Persefone,” he said again, rougher this time. “That’s not what I meant.” I laughed again. Still wrong. Still cracking around the edges. “Honestly? Don’t worry about it.” I climbed fully out of bed before they could stop me, ignoring how weak my legs still felt when cold floor hit my bare feet. “The second Eden comes back,” I said quietly, forcing the words out before my stupid heart could stop me, “I’ll give you exactly what you want.” Every single one of them flinched. Hard. Good. Because I was hurting too. Thane’s face lost what little color he still had left. “That’s not—” “You don’t have to explain.” My voice wobbled slightly and I hated that too. “You made yourself pretty clear.” “Persefone,” Aiden warned softly. I pinned him with a glare immediately. “No.” And he stopped, pressing his lips into a thin line. Apparently I still sounded enough like my father to stop grown wolves mid-sentence. “I am way too exhausted to deal with whatever the hell this is right now,” I muttered, wrapping my arms tightly around myself. “So nobody follow me. Nobody touch me. And nobody makes any more life decisions for me while I’m unconscious. Deal?” Keres looked like he wanted to argue. Aiden looked like he physically couldn’t decide whether to comfort me or murder Thane. And Thane— God. He looked wrecked. Completely f*****g wrecked. Like he hated himself already. A small vicious part of me was glad. Because maybe now he understood how much those words hurt. I turned before they could see another tear threatening to form and headed straight for the door. “Persefone wait—” I ignored Aiden completely. The hallway outside was quiet this early in the morning, soft golden lights still glowing dimly against dark wood while my pulse hammered violently inside my skull. I just needed space. Air. Something familiar. Something that still felt like mine because right now my own body didn’t even feel fully mine anymore. Eden was gone. The bond was real. And one of my supposed mates already wanted me to reject him. My throat tightened painfully again as I moved faster through the empty halls. I knew exactly where I was going before I consciously decided it. The only place in the entire pack where my head ever really quieted down. The only place where nobody expected anything from me.