Chapter 18: Again

Maya's Pov How possible is it for somebody to relieve the same thing again but in different timelines and different places? Is fate really that cruel? Because yes, it is. And I was living through it right now. Ever since I became an Alpha, I’ve always known how to react, what to do, and what to say in any situation. My pack looks up to me because I am strong and composed. But for the first time in ten years, I felt completely lost for words. My heart was hammering against my ribs, and my throat felt dry. I was standing in the middle of a crowded, glittery ballroom, surrounded by powerful leaders, staring at a gorgeous princess holding my mate’s arm. Everything inside me wanted to crumble. Everything inside me wanted to scream, to fall apart, or to run as fast as my legs could carry me into the dark forest. But I couldn’t lose my self-respect. Not like last time. Ten years ago, when Ezra rejected me for Hope and killed my world, I let them see me bleed. I let them see me cry, beg, and break into a million pieces. I couldn't do that tonight. I couldn't run away from the truth, especially because it was staring right at me in the eyes. I don’t know why I thought this time would be different. I don’t know why I let myself believe, even for a single second, that Alexander was any better. I don’t know why it was even affecting me so much, because I told myself over and over again that I wouldn’t go through this pain again. I told myself I wouldn't trust another male or another mate bond. And I was proven right. He's exactly like Ezra, just another powerful man who made big, sweet promises while keeping another woman on the side. I was the stupid one yet again for letting my guard down. I was the foolish girl who let his ' kisses, touches, smiles, and his voice melt my walls. I don’t know why the Moon Goddess is doing this to me. Why give me a second-chance mate just to throw a betrothed vampire princess in my face? Why tear open my barely healed wounds and pour salt right into them? The quietness the room was suffocating. Every Alpha, Luna, and guard was holding their breath, waiting to see how this would play out. Princess Sophia stood there with her hand wrapped familiarly around Alexander's arm, her head tilted, looking at me with a proud smirk under her glittering silver crown. I forced every drop of strength left in my body to rush to the surface and forced my posture straight, pushed my shoulders back, and locked eyes with hers. "Princess Sophia, pleasure to meet you," I said with a calm, polite smile on my face, even though everything inside me was scrambling. My wolf was breaking yet again. She was pacing back and forth, whimpering in pure agony, and she kept on calling out for her mate. She wanted to fight, she wanted to cry, and she wanted to mark Alexander as ours right in front of this woman. But I kept ignoring her. I locked my wolf behind a wall inside my mind, refusing to let her feelings leak out into my face. "The pleasure is all mine," Princess Sophia said as she gave me a quick, disdainful look from head to toe. Then she turned her head, looking up at Alexander. "And you, handsome? How have you been?" she asked, resting her hand a little higher on his chest. Alexander didn't look at her. His piercing blue eyes stayed locked on me the whole time. His jaw was clenched so hard I could see the muscles of his cheek, and his breathing was heavy, rough, and uneven. "Maya, I can explain," he said, his deep voice carrying a sharp, desperate edge as he tried to pull his arm away from Sophia. I didn't let him finish. I let out a lightlaugh that sounded completely unbothered, cool, and fake. "You don't have to explain anything to me," I said ooking between the two of them with my polite smile still in place. "You guys really make a very beautiful couple." Then l turned on my heel and began to walk away. But I didn't walk away to leave the room. I didn't walk away to go hide in my bedroom and cry into my pillow. I refuse to look like a coward, and give anyone in this room the pleasure of thinking that they broke me. Instead, I held my head high, my and I walked over to the bar in the corner of the room. "A strong drink, please," I said leaning my arm casually against the bar counter. "Whiskey. Neat." "Right away, Alpha," the bartender said, quickly pouring a glass of amber liquid and sliding it to me. I picked up the glass and took a gulp. The alcohol burned down my throat, but it did nothing to soothe the pain inside my heart. Behind me, I could hear the hushed chatter starting back up on the ballroom. The Alphas were whispering to each other, Ezra was watching me from across the floor with a sick, triumphant smirk, and Princess Sophia was still clinging to Alexander's side, talking to him. Terence walked up beside me at the bar, his face pale and his fists clenched tightly at his sides. "Maya" Terence murmured, his voice laced with concern. "Are you okay? It's quite obvious there was something between you and the King? Do you want to talk about it or should we leave." "I'm fine, Terence" I lied, keeping my voice smooth and steady as I swirled the whiskey in my glass. "We're not leaving. We came here for a summit, and we are staying until it's finished." "come on," Terence whispered, stepping closer so nobody else could hear. "I know you. I can see what this is doing to you. You don't have to pretend with me." "I'm not pretending," I said, turning my head to glare at him. "I don't break over men. Not ten years ago, and certainly not tonight." Alexander thought he could play with me. He thought he could use his royal title, his handsome face, and the mate bond to break through my armor while holding on to a Princess. But he made a huge mistake. I'm Maya. I'm the Cold Alpha of Silver-Falls. I survived Ezra, l survived losing my parents, I survived the dungeons, and I survived the frozen forest bleeding and broken. I'll survive him.